answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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