She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
