Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
