I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
