i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
