I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
