everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize