You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
