Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize