omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
