exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this will be a night to untag.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
