dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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