I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you had me at cake vodka
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
