I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
