Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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