Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
