the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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