It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
