Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
