this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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