turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
