I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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