I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
