My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
