I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
