OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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