It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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