we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
