You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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