marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
