Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
