I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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