I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
