What did we do last night that was yellow?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
