thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
