even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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