Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
