This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
