Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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