So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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