From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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