he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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