there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
