you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
