Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize