He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
