i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
