Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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