obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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