Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
