He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
