Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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