OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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