im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
