Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
