lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
