Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
