...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
