An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize