just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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