Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
