Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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