I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
