PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
