told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
