at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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